How We Got Here

Mama please! I love him and he loves me. We want this baby. Please mama, I need you.” Grandma just sat there and looked away. She knew how much it meant to her daughter. And she knew how this would end. No matter which side she took, she knew how it would end. Her mama got pregnant and married. That wasn’t a happy family. She got married and pregnant. And that wasn’t a happy family. And now, her daughter was getting married. It wasn’t her child she was worried about. It was the man. Girls tend to marry their fathers. Each father was lusting after someone or something. And she was sure he was lusting after a beautiful wife and a married life. A year or two later, he’ll want out and she’ll beg him to stay. It was almost genetic. But what could she do? “Alright, do as you see fit. Just know that little girl you’re carrying, she’s going to get a mark on her neck. She’s going to represent the curse of this family. The sin for lust . Hopefully, she’ll have better sense than to repeat the past.”

Mama, how do you know it’s a girl?”

Child, no time to explain, you have a wedding to prepare.” Three months into my mother’s pregnancy, she and my father were married. Clearly, I was born and my parents are still in the honeymoon phase and overjoyed with me. When I was about one, mom found dad cheating . He felt so sorry that he came back to her and tried to make it work. Mom didn’t think she’d have a divorce. She thought he had honestly changed. Until she found him again with another. At this point, they were expecting baby number two. Twins. Mom was smart enough to admit defeat. Dad wanted a divorce and Mom agreed. The split was amicable. Painful but amicable. Seeing Grandma dust off an old picture of her daughter when she was pregnant with me knocked my focus back to reality.

Grandma was an odd duck. But a sweet one. Things she couldn’t explain, she’d wave the answer off with her hand and find something to focus on. .

“Grams, how’d you know I’d be a girl? And how did you know I get a tattoo?”

Child, I got no time for your silly questions. I gotta go cook.”