Service was finally over and the crowd was leaving. As I watched my family drive off, I turned around to walk towards Father Daniels’ office. He was a bit busy with other church members so I just waited in the lobby. Time seemed to go by so slowly and my nerves were getting worse with every passing moment. Moving the beads in the rosary from my left to right hand, a prayer was being said quietly. One for my family’s safe return home and another for myself. As I was in mid prayer for me, I realized I was the last person in the lobby. Hearing the slow cringe of his door, Father Daniels called for my name. He was ready for me. Rosary now firm in my left hand, I started to walk to his office to discuss what I have done. As soon as I entered, he closed the door behind him, walked around his desk and took a seat. His hand gesture that I take a seat as well. So I did. I felt so nervous that I didn’t even look him in the eyes. I didn’t know what was going to happen.
“Thanks for meeting me here my office, Sinny.” His voice was so calm and made me more nervous. He ha a smirk on his face as he continued to speak. “Sinny. Unusual name. Where’d it come from, if you don’t mind me knowing?” I shook my head to let him know I didn’t mind him knowing and began to tell about the sin of lust I supposedly carry. I told him the way my grandmother told me. He sat there and just listened. When I finished, there was a deafening silence in the room. I looked down and suck my bottom lip in. This notion seemed to get him to say something I never expected.
“Though it’s not your actual name, Sinny fits you.” He stood up from his chair and walked to the front of his desk sitting slightly on the edge. Father Daniels wasn’t quite in front of me now. He was on the diagonal near me. Still, close enough to touch. His left hand gently held up my jaw as he pulled it upwards to have me look at him. This felt awkward. Once again, he had that smirk and it was turning into a full smile. “You suck your bottom lip often. I saw you when you were returning to your seat. It’s a cute habit you’ve got.” Immediately, my eyes widened. Instinctively, I pulled back from his grasp and covered my mouth with my hand. He folded his arms and gave a light chuckle.
“I’m just as in shock as you are. I’ve watched you for the past two years. You are truly a good girl. You are very… desired girl…” His head shook for a moment. “Sinny, I know I’m not supposed to do anything like this. I’m not supposed to desire anyone other than God. But I’m human. I know it’s a lot to take in…” He stopped mid-sentence. He was now crouching before me. One of my hands in both of his, he seemed so genuine as he continued on. “…There’s a lot I have to sort out myself. I know your mind is going a million miles a minute. My mind is doing the same. Just … just give it, give me some thought.” He stood up to his feet letting go of my hand. He returned to his chair and sat. There was that deafening silence again. I wasn’t sure who to be more shocked with. Him, for what he wanted or me, for actually considering it. I couldn’t look them in the face. I wasn’t ready. Despite that, something in me went autopilot. I took out a piece of paper and pen and gave him my cell phone number. Standing up to drop it in the middle of his desk, he took the piece paper and smiled. I don’t think I smiled. I don’t think I did anything but walk quickly out of his office. Closing the door behind me, I just walked until I reached my car. Unlocking the door, I sat in the seat and just played back everything that transpired.